So I was just answering a reply on my blog when it hit me: I have been practicing magic in one form or another for 10 fucking years around December this year.
10 Freaking years.
I’m certainly no community elder but that’s nothign to sneeze at. I then thought some more and laughed at myself because all I could think is that 10 years of this shit and I STILL have no freaking clue. Ah well, that’s what keeps it fun I suppose.
Beginner’s in magic have it pretty tough these days. I’m not being sarcastic either.
So I’ve finally got my shit together (sort of maybe) and I now have charlietwist.com with an interface on it. It’s not particularly spectacular, justa wordpress theme to be honest, but I wanted to get this art stuff going an di figure at least it’s a start right?
At the moment I’m going through my old A4 journals and scanning anything that looks salvegable. So there now a heap of sketches up. If you’re into that kind of thing go have a look.
WIP - The Monster Under the Bed
Picking the conversations with Frater Victatio back up after failing at the Destruction topic. Wander of to Melbournostika to see his brain meats on display.
So the question being addressed in this installment of our conversation is “If you could create an alternative divination deck what would it be like?”
Oookay, mean question to ask an artist. My brain goes CREATIVE ACTIVITY SQUEEEEEEE!!! at the very idea of getting to create a divination deck that is entirely personal, then it starts thinking about the possibilities and then 5 minutes later it over heats, dribbles out my ears and I crave sugar something shocking.
If I could create a completely personal deck what would it be like…
I’d use cards about the same size as Tarot cards as I find these a nice easy size to handle and the cardstock is usually good to work with. The number of cards I think would start off quite small and grow as I felt it needed to. I think he important aspect to me would be personal symbolism and fluidity.
I’d want each card to be able to stand on it’s own as a symbol of something (death, life, sex, lust etc) and be workable as a meditation focus as much as I’d like to have them work as a traditionl divination deck. I know I’d want to add cards and remove tham as time went by, or even change the individual card to soemthign more meaningful etc. I tink it would evolve from something quite simple into something quite complex over time.
The symbology would be personal to me. I see them as a combination of images created by me and text. Sometimes entirely symbological (Is that a word?) and other times character or situation driven images. They’d have to have colour. I like colour a lot.
I don’t think a deck I’d created would be useable by anyone else in any way because of the way I think, but I think I’d like hat i create to be able to be used ina similar manner to my tarot decks.
Part of a stupidly long post I made on face book in response to the initiated Wiccan crap. I had responded initially to someone who added his two bob regarding Shaministic initiation which is quite often not given by another human being, but rather by the spirits or through events. Said person shot back with the fact that he was referring to the calling to the path etc etc. Here is my response. I was curios to your thoughts regarding it….
As to being “called to a path” we all are. It’s a given, we were called one way or another to paganism in the first place. Being called to a path and being initiated into a path, again, are totally seperate things. I spoke of what the initiation was like after I found my calling, and while the experiences varies tremendously from person to person it is still not a case of performing some pleasant ritual when “you” (generic you there) feel like it.
In a manner I envy those who ARE initiated into a coven. Having other people around to guide you through the initiation process and help you develop steadily at a pace you can handle is probably a great deal easier to handle than being thrown in head first. The issues that arise I can imagine would actually be the same ones and the challenges similar but rather than it being a sudden, forceful change it’s something stable that is prepared for an guided by those more experienced. I’m solitary so again this is just my opinions built of my talks with the initiated and other solitaries ont he subject *Shrugs*
I hold solid my opinion on being inducted into Wicca. I’m easy enough to please, if you add neo or eclectic to the front I know what you’re talking about, and I’m not such a fuss that I’m going to jump up and down because “OMG you can’t use the term Wiccan if you’re not initiated” provided the clarification is clear that you practice neo/eclectic-Wicca not traditoinal (initiated) Wicca. And if you claim to follow the latter I expect you to be able to back it up.
I can back up the claims that I practice Chaos magic through my knowledge of the path, it’s tenants and it’s core values/practices (however few and far between those are) and through my magical practice. Chaos magic doesn’t require any form of initiation, but you still have to be able to prove your claim at the end of the day if you want the title. If you can’t, if you walk into a gathering of Chaos Magicians, and you’re a kitchen witch who calls her/himself a chaos witch and have absolutely no connection with Chaos Magic at all, you’ll be told as much. I wouldn’t expect any less of any other path.
You can’t just claim to be anything you want to be, you have to be able to be that and prove that you are that to others who are of that path or are involved in the community at large. It’s akin to claiming your an accountant if you’re an accounts clerk. Their similar but not the same. An accounts clerk doesn’t have the knowledge of an account clerk, unless of course if they’re an accountant working an accounts clerk role which I’m sure does happen from time to time. One requires qualifications that the other doesn’t but at the same time that doesn’t make one role better that the other. It’s simple as that.
Just because we’re talking about paganism not accounting jobs doesn’t mean you can just throw the basic structures out the window, they still apply. This is one of the biggest problems with the pagan community. The minute you step into paganism you seem to step out of the real world for some reason. It doesn’t work, we are part of the real world, we should be more so than those who aren’t pagan if you ask me. There is no dividing line that says real world this side, pagan world this side that you step across when you put on your robes. It’s the same world, with the same rules, we just see things others don’t because we’re awake and aware of them.
You are not cute
You are not a special snowflake
You are not fucking adorable enough to get away with it.
Neither am I. Difference is I know it.
This is starting to piss me off. The number of people around me that act like fucking morons and expect me and others to accept it because they’re cute and adorable.This actually goes hand in hand with the personal space issues from my last rant.
People are asking me why I’m coming out less and less. Here’s why…
You’re acting like morons.
Giggling, squealing, gropy people are not the be all and end all of my life.
Bratty, snippy, bitchy people annoy me.
In fact the more I deal with my own shit the less patience I have for it. I’d really like some adult company. Really really really like some. On a regular basis even. Thing is treating someone like dirt is not nice and no matter how much you bat you’re eyelids I’m not buying it. Treating someone like an object is rude and giggling coyly doesn’t make that ok.
Fart and sex jokes are not funny, stupid catty remarks are not going to win me over, and for the love of gods stop hitting on me. I am currently interested in six people. If you’re not in a realtionship or a male I have already slept with/ am currently sleeping with you’re not one of them. Sorry, thems the way the dice fell ok?
Get over it. Get off me. Leave me the fuck alone.
You want me to be interested in you talk to me. Not whine at me or giggle or make moves on me but actually fucking talk to me. I may not have the education of some of the people I know but I am far from stupid, I am capable of saying when I don’t understand and I actually like to hold adult conversations. If you actually get your eyes above chest level and the conversation above the sex jokes you may actually notice that I am an intelligent person with interests outside of goth clubs and petty but pretty shiny things.
If you’re really stuck try art (I’m rather fond of it, you may have missed that) or magic (as in the pagan version) or even sewing (I like to do this). Seriously. Stop being twits. at the moment for all the friends I have I actually look forward to seeing and want to spend time with less than ten of them…
This is another figure it out for yourselves.
| Tell me what the rain knows O are these the Tears of Ages That wash away the Wolf's Way And leave not a trace of the day? |
| Tell me what the rain knows O is this the flood of fortune That pours itself upon me? O see how I drown in this sea |
| Hark, hear the howl that eats the moon alive Your fur it is on fire The smoke turns the whole sky raven black And the world upon your back will crack |
| Where will you go Now you've no home? |
| Let the rain wash away your last days |
Song lyrics post. You figure out what it means.
Blind – Wolfsheim
I think of you like I often do
When I hear the rain on my windowpane
Gently tapping at the glass
Like your gently touching fingers
Just looking for the smile I give to you
Chorus:
You can feel what no one feels
You can hear what no one hears
Just looking for the smile I give to you
You can feel what no one feels
You can hear what no one wants to hear
Just looking for the smile I give to you
Your darkness speaks and has eyes to see
and you know me by my voice
But you know so much more than
“Don’t fight the walls they’re here for all”
Is what you said to me once
I looked into your eyes and I knew you were right
Chorus
And your darkness speaks and has eyes to see
I know you can win this life long game we’re in
“Hey darkness is a state of mind
I can go where you would stumble”
Is what you said to me and I knew you we right
Ok I still haven’t thought up a fancy title but this is another in the ongoing correspondences between Frater Victatio of Melbournostika and I.
Technically this is supposed to be a list of books that effected our magic, but as who we are effects our magic more than anything I’m going to put up the 5 books that have had the greatest effect on me as person.
Yes this is mainly because I can’t think of books that have really hit me hard magically.
“Condensed Chaos”, Phil Hine.
This was the first book on chaos magic I ever read. He is still one of my favorite magical authors. It just kick started everything on my current path. It was an eye opener to say the least. It’s free to download from his site so if you haven’t read it go do so.
The Easter Book…
Strange as it sounds I’m serious. I can’t even remember the name of this book. I used to read it in like grade 3 or 4 at school, but it was my very first introduction to the religions and myths of other cultures that didn’t involve teachers and pyramids. It sparked my imagination and started a love affair with mythology that has not, and I doubt ever will, die. I spent a LOT of time in the Library by the way.
Speaking of my childhood reading…
“I am David”, Anne Holm
This book is AMAZING! My mother bought it for me accidently thinking it was Rohl Dahl’s book of the same name. I have never ever been able to explain why I still think her for buying it. It’s about a young boy, about 12 years old, the same age as I was at the time I got it, who is assisted in escaping from a concentration camp and the book chronicles his journey from that camp to his homeland in search of his mother. It is touching and moving and hopeful and introduced me to concepts that I don’t think I was quite able to grasp at the time but I tried to anyway. This was my introduction to adult reading and it was life changing in it’s message.
“Matilda”, Rohl Dahl
At 11 years old I needed a hero and something to aspire to. Matilda was it. Bright, witty, charming and resolute she summed up what I wanted to be. As a child that spent many years being teased for her overly long legs, red hair, freckles and glasses I could actually identify with this girl. I wish I’d understood what I do now then. She was everything I needed as a little girl to keep me going forward. Hope comes in strange packages…
Lastly…
“Sandman”, Neil Gaiman
There are many comic creators I love, many I think are brilliant but Neil Gaiman’s Sandman hit me up in all the right ways. Here are my god’s fallible, vain, gentle, sour, kind and sometimes a bit nuts. The Endless are the things inside us all that are universal. The world’s he weaves are rich in myth and life and self contained yet all encompassing. I don’t think I can really describe what these books are, but they opened me back up to the possibility that there was some worth left in comics and that there were still true stry tellers, myth weaver’s even, in our world.
So that’s it, 5 books that heavily influenced me over the years.
A week or so back now Doktor Bedlam introduced me to Oh My Gods which I am currently using to avoid assignments. You need to click that link. This is why:
Why WOULD'T you read a comic that has this?
